We started preparing for the Andrew Party that Wednesday at 2pm, which is basically a recruitment party for the high school students. Because the students here really connect through gifts and food, we made about 100 bookmarks to give away to the students and we made a lot of turon (banana and brown sugar wrapped in rice paper) and pancit (noodles with carrots, green beans, garlic, onions and meat).
Then on Tuesday, we got a call from Jonathan, the Nav staff at Samaritana, inviting us to Samaritana the next day at 2pm for orientation -- the same time as the Andrew Party. At first I was very excited, but then I reminded myself not to get my hopes up -- in the States, an orientation basically means we're officially working there, but here that's not what it means necessarily. Nothing here is what it means, I'm learning.
I was also bummed that going to orientation meant we were going to miss the Andrew Party, and I wondered if going to orientation that week meant we were going to start ministry with Samaritana earlier than expected (a week and a half early) and pull out of the high school/college ministry so quickly after we had just committed our hearts to it.
On Wednesday we went to orientation with four Inter Varsity girls. The neighborhood is beautiful as it's close to UP Diliman, more on the outskirts of the city. The Samaritana center is so beautiful and peaceful, a perfect environment for this kind of ministry. We met the staff there, including Kuya Jonathan and his wife Ate Thelma, the Nav staff there whom we had been in contact with. As we went through orientation, it sounded like everything was set in stone for us to work there, the printed schedule they gave us was set… the only thing we were waiting on was where we would be staying (whether with a host family or commuting from the Nav building, where we have been staying the past two weeks).
I was very excited to start work, and I'll admit, even more excited to finally have a printed schedule and know what we are doing. I was so happy that the days of waiting and learning to be flexible had paid off and we were finally where we needed to be.
With such expectations in my heart, I climbed into the van after orientation with Rachel and James (team leader) to head back to the building. But as we discussed the orientation, I found out I still didn't understand this culture. I still didn't understand the way things worked here. Rachel and James explained everything was still tentative, that the schedule was designed for the Inter Varsity team, not for us. We could start with Samaritana next week, we could start the following week, we might never start. I argued with them, trying to understand their logic, trying to understand why the heck no one here can give me a straight answer or a definite plan. And finally I broke down crying.
The next few days were trying, as we waited on updates from Samaritana and tried to commit ourselves to the high school/college ministry while our hearts were still hoping on Samaritana. On the outside, I acted like everything was okay, as if I was adjusting well to the culture, to the humidity, to the flexibility, etc. I wanted so desperately to love it here and to really connect with my heritage. I wanted so desperately to grow and to do better.
But as we reunited with our teammates this past weekend, I found myself easily agitated by little things they would say or do, I had a bad attitude toward their excitement over their own ministries, I was hurt over an interaction with another teammate, and I was frustrated with myself for being like that, and all our plans were still hanging in the air.
Sunday was a hard day. We met as a team to process together, and all my frustrations, worries and tears came out. I was nervous all day because I knew I needed to talk to the teammate I had had conflict with. And once again, I was beating myself up for not having a good attitude the one day I had with my teammates.
But with all that said, there have been blessings scattered throughout the days. I so enjoyed my time with Daidai and Ate Jean as we made food together. I sang along to Disney movies with Rachel as we made bookmarks. It was refreshing to hang out with a naive but funny and sweet 16-year-old, Paul, one of our teammates who flew in Tuesday night and stayed with us a couple days. It was very nice seeing a pretty part of the Philippines, Los Baños, when we dropped Paul off there (he'll be ministering to high school students there). It was a comfort having James to talk to and joke around with. Friday night gave me a lot to think about as Filipino missionaries from Bangladesh came and spoke to us about their experiences. It was a blessing to participate in a college Bible study on Saturday and get to know some of the students there. And overall, it was fun seeing my teammates again and laughing over peculiar bowel movements again.
This past week has been a lesson in, yes, patience, but also in love. I am learning so much just from my teammates, as we minister to each other and love each other through conflicts and weaknesses.
Christ has been with me, going before me in all my comings and goings. He has been an ever-constant presence in all my struggling. And He has been faithful in reminding me of these things.
I start a new stage of this mission trip in half an hour as Rachel and I begin to minister at Samaritana. I trust that God will have so much to teach us, and I pray He that as He works in us, He will work through us to love and bless the women we serve.
Please continue to pray!
Until next weekend,
Karla
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